Tag Archives: marriage

5 Ways to Add a Spark to Your Relationship

Add a ‘Love Spark’ to Your Relationship

Recently, my husband and I celebrated our 25th anniversary with not one, not two, but 10 special events. That’s right. What started out as a two week vacation turned into months of celebrating everywhere we went. Including: renewing our vows and partying with dear friends, going out for multiple anniversary dinners and being showered with many free desserts and unlimited well wishes.

Why did we go overboard? Because being married for 25 years is a huge accomplishment and our love deserves celebrating!

We’ve learned a few things about relationships along the way. Every relationship goes through seasons and once in a while, it needs a spark to re-ignite it. If you’ve been in a relationship for a while, you may need to jump start things.

Here is a recipe to add a SPARK of love to your relationship.

S – Spiritually Connect!

Your love story is a grand adventure and God is in it with you. God is the glue and the ultimate power source to your love. Pray together and watch God bind you closer together than ever. Remember – a strand of 3 cords can’t be easily broken.

To Do: Ask your partner: “What is 1 thing I can do this week to be a better partner?”   Then listen. Sit quietly and really hear what the other person said, without getting defensive.   Then, as long as it’s not offensive to you, when you’re ready to step out of your comfort zone, try it.

P – Physical Touch.

Hug, kiss, hold hands and be intimate. All of these physical touches are critical to keeping you close to each other.

Research shows that hugging (and also laughter) is extremely effective at healing sickness, disease, loneliness, depression, anxiety and stress. Research shows a proper heart to heart hug builds trust and a sense of safety.

Virginia Satir, a respected family therapist, “We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”

To Do: Ask: How many hugs and touches would you like each day?

A – Actively Grow

Spend time together & apart doing NEW things. Add novelty to your relationship.

Engage in New experiences.  Try new things together. Whether it’s traveling to a new country, taking a cooking class, or writing YOUR love story, this too will help keep your relationship alive. Engaging in new experiences will allow both you and your partner to learn new things about yourselves and each other. It also provides room for excitement, and to support each other.

Do the Original Love Box tradition.  Write each other love notes and read them aloud to each other.  Try writing your love story in the Original Love Box book. Keep your love alive by reliving wonderful past experiences and creating new ones.

You can keep your love story alive for future generations as well by writing it in the Original Love Box book.  It’s such a treasured keepsake.

R- Respectfully Communicate.

Respectfully express your love and appreciation for each other. As often as you can. Top regrets people have at the end of their life are that they didn’t do what they really wanted. #3 regret is “I didn’t express my true feelings.”

It’s vital for us to express ourselves. The good and the bad. Make sure you pour loving words into your partner and your kids.

What’s a good ‘Love Talk ratio’?

Say 5 ‘Love Talks’ to 1 correction.   Pump 5 positive, uplifting and loving statements to 1 negative one. Your tone of voice speaks volumes.

Start the Original Love Box tradition and keep pumping love notes into your partners life. Write love notes to each other!

If you hurt the other, be sure to extend grace and forgiveness.  Do the 3-H Forgiveness method. Kathrine Lee, creator of the Ultimate Source recommends forgiving with your head, heart and hands. Forgive logically by thinking about making the conscious choice to forgive. Then search your heart and spiritually forgive them. Then extend your hand to forgive them and ultimately, use your hands to help another person.

K – Keep On Keeping On!

Different ages and stages bring different changes. Each season has challenges and opportunities for growth. Keep working on your relationship. Remember; the only way you can lose is if you give up.

Relationships have ups and downs. Keep the faith and keep believing in the other person. Stay hopeful and add a spark to have a happier and more rewarding relationship.

Wish you a love to last a lifetime. You can add a fresh spark to your love at any time and enjoy a long and loving relationship.

Remember to:

  • Communicate daily
  • Date weekly
  • Adventure monthly

Spark challenge:

  1. What’s 1 thing I can do to be a better partner this week?
  2. What can I do that’s novel and different?

We’re all in search of a happy life. What if you knew just what to do, to have a happy and successful life?

Would you focus on it with all your time, money & energy? Probably.

Do you think the secrets are; Having plenty of money, a happy marriage, experience, your dream career, being a philanthropist, having a strong work ethic, or being raised in a happy childhood?

Some fascinating research reveals the secrets to a happy and successful life. The Harvard-Grant study was conducted for 75 years at a cost of over 20 million dollars to conduct.

Dr. George Vaillant, the lead researcher, notes there are two pillars of happiness:
“One is love. The other is finding a way of coping with life that does not push love away.”

The study directs us to a five-word conclusion:
“Happiness is love. Full stop.” Vaillant says.


Love means everything. A person can have plenty of money and luxuries, but if love is absent, they ultimately feel unfulfilled deep down inside.

“Our relationships with other people matter, and matter more than anything else in the world,” writes Vaillant in a 2009 Positive Psychology News article.

Your earliest relationships impact your long-term happeness, specifically the relationship you have with your mom. Business Insider highlights a connection to the fact that men who had “warm” childhood relationships with their mom we more likely to earn more money, have professional success and were less likely to develop dementia in their later years.

We know healthy relationships set a foundation for overall life contentment but also career satisfaction. Vaillant says that having a meaningful connection to the type of work you’re doing is more important than achieving traditional success.

This research confirms ancient wisdom.
“In as much as love grows in you,
So in you beauty grows.
For love is the beauty of the soul. ~St. Augustine

“Don’t underestimate the power of love, because it’s the key to happiness.” Vaillant writes. LOVE. Yes, we’re talking about loving relationships.

Value & cherish love above all else.
Grow in Love.

So, the next time you have a choice between going shopping for a little ‘retail therapy’ or indulging in other ‘escapism’ activities, take a moment to think of a new way to love. Ultimately, growing loving relationships and forgiving, will make you happier in the long run.

Does this resonate with you?
How do you value & invest in love?